During my 6 years of working as a massage therapist and foreplay trainer, several men sent me messages about their dick size. Some sent me the picture of their penis and asked me if it’s of normal size. Others asked me questions about how to convince a woman to have sex with them since they have an oversized penis. None has ever asked me if their dick is too small. It seems that men only ask questions when they are confident enough that at least they possess an average dick. From my own experience, one of the men I talked to on Vietnam Cupid long time ago insisted on finding a woman who had never had any sexual experience nor seen any men naked so that when she gets to see him in his birthday suit, she will say that’s a big or probably the only big penis she has ever seen. Why do men have to worry about their penis size? Unless you have some infantile penises which there are no cures for but hormone therapy may be done for children to stimulate penile growth. According to a study in Britain, almost half of men in the study (45 percent) believed they had a small penis, yet the researchers reported that small penis size was actually rare. How about women’s perspective on men’s penis size? The same study indicates that the majority of women, some 85 percent, were satisfied with the size and proportion of their partner’s penis. Only a minority of women attached some importance to penis size. Also while most of men’s worries about penis size centre on the length, women are more interested in width, according to another study which interviewed 50 undergraduate women about what was important to them.
Why do men have this insecurity?
- It’s probably because of the angle at which they look at their penis.
Looking down at the penis from above makes it appear smaller, compared with how it looks straight on, or from the side. Seeing one’s own penis from this perspective and perhaps comparing it with other men’s appendages from a different perspective, may, therefore, reinforce false ideas of penis size.
- It’s partially because of the common belief “bigger is better”
Why do men and women are subject to different standards when it comes to sizes? If “bigger is better”, then shouldn’t it be “the bigger the vagina, the more desirable the woman is”? The media and pharmaceutical companies love to sell you more toys or drugs that “help” you enhance the size. They don’t mind to rub on men’s insecurity about their own penis as well as sell the opposite idea to women with pelvic floor exercise and Kegel balls.
- Another reason is they compare their size with the average sizes from different studies.
I haven’t come across a study that was done specifically for Asians, Caucasians or Africans only. If you truly believe in sizes, shouldn’t be men’s measured against their own race rather across races? The study above also looked at men’s average penis’ size based on men’s own measurement of their penis when it’s erect or flaccid. This raises another question; there’s no standard in how you measure a penis and if any anomalies should be taken into consideration as well as how subjective men are when measuring their own penis.
- Other reasons derive from sexual intercourse and pleasure itself. There are supposedly 3 spots that women can gain orgasm from:
- The G spot is typically reported to be located 5–8 cm (2–3 in) up the front (anterior) vaginal wall
- The U spot is located just under the clitoris and above the entrance of the vagina, where the urethral glands are
- The C/ K spot is located at the end of the vagina, where the cervix begins
Most men go deep into vagina because deep penetration feels snug and tight and that can also make them feel more emotionally connected to their partner, but the reason behind it is their brain is hard wired to reach the C spot on the cervix. The length of a vagina is around 6 to 8 cm and can stretch 1-2 cm when stimulated to accommodate an aroused penis. So a man’s penis needs a certain length to reach it. Now, women who prefer the width rather than length simply because a thick penis can fill a vagina and touch the vagina wall to make them feel whole and it’s like you are meant for each other. (Emotions are at play here). A vagina’s width varies throughout its length. Vaginal width is largest in the proximal vagina (32.5 mm), decreases as it passes through the pelvic diaphragm (27.8 mm) and smallest at the introitus (26.2 mm). The problem is vaginal wall has few nerve endings, unless the man pounds it hard, women won’t feel much. Also the existence of the above spots hasn’t been proven by science. As a result, if a man’s penis cannot reach the cervix or fill the vagina, it’s not the end of the world. In addition, according some women, when they are extremely excited, their cervix will open to allow the penis head to enter and for a few women, they are able to squeeze this opening to make it really tight for the penis head where there are glands and nerve endings. So the act of thrusting deep into vaginas or the intercourse itself is more about the man than the woman. And for this “supposedly pleasure”, according to many scientists except during childbirth, the cervical os is not open and is too small to be penetrated.
Some men with erectile dysfunction can still have a healthy and fulfilling sex life because it is then they start to focus on the intimacy and the process of making love rather than the end goal. Having a small but working penis seems, to me, to be a blessing still.
Women are also scared of big penises rather than worried about their men’s small penis. They at least know for sure that sex will be not painful with their men. Due to bad or not enough foreplay, many women characterise “good sex” as not painful, so having sex with men with small penises just guarantee another “good sex” encounter by their definition.
According to “Dictionaire de la sexualite” by Pierre and Marie Habert and “Từ điển tính dục học” by Trịnh Công Sơn, probably the only 2 of its kind, there are many solutions to having a long penis when having sex with a woman, but there are no suggestions for how to have sex with an extra large penis. So why do men with small penises have to feel inferior or diffident?
Last but not least, 75% of women cannot have a vaginal orgasm and those who have this do not reach climax alone. They need clitoris stimulation too to have an orgasm. If it’s so hard to make a woman climax during intercourse, why do men sweat about their size?
As a saying goes “Every Jack has his Jill”; there are plenty of women out there with exceptionally small vaginas, men with small penises just have to find someone whose vagina fits their penis if they are still concerned about their size.
Men only see that their penis is small if they think so since most men’s penises are of normal size for their race. There are of course exceptions, but for all the reasons above, penis size is not an indicator of a successful or good lover. It’s intimacy and good love making experience is what women desire. The media and people or even women in general will still continue to talk about men’s penis size to either sell men something or belittle men because that’s the only weapon they have. It’s time for men to rethink that their size does matter and think beyond that. Unless they change their own feeling about their penis, the society will certainly not do so.