I read a lot about complications when giving birth and I thought I was quite lucky since I didn’t bleed a lot. I would say maybe two hours later after labor, my bleeding was few and far between and not heavy. The doctor checked on my perineal cut every day for three days and said it was healing nicely. I got up and walked about 5 or 6 hours later after childbirth; that was how well I was doing. Everyone that had a C-section or vaginal delivery that I knew had a complete recovery after 5 days to 2 weeks. My wound, however, took 2 months. I went to see a gynecologist 2 weeks after the birth of my daughter to ask for advice on lactation and had her look at my stitches. I even had an early annual checkup for the same purpose- to ask for a second opinion and look for treament. I went back to the clinic where I had my prenatal checkup to see my usual doctor for gestational diebetes and asked her- the third medical professional to take a look at my wound. Every one of them said it was on the mend although it was red around the edges. None of them knew why I kept having infection where the stiches were. Every other day, I would have to drain the pus, clean it with alcohol and got reinfected again. Then I realized I kept having problem because the suture was too long and I accidentally pulled on it. So I snipped it myself and my problem was resolved within a week- without any help from any doctor. 2 months after the delivery, my partner and I tried to have sex multiple times but we were not successful for many reasons. My vagina felt like it was crushed when the baby went through the birth canal. My gynecologist did prepare me for this. She told me it would be painful because my vagina would be dry due to low level of estrogen and would stay dry till my period returned. However, in reality, my skin felt like it could tear again and the fear of opening up the stitches scared me. It was 10 times worse than having sex for the first time and for me it was much worse than giving birth. My partner didn’t push. We tried a bit every few days for a month and I always ended up in tears. We were hopeless and afraid that our sex life would never be the same. Then it dawned on me that my partner never used my Sheila’s Approach technique on me the entire time. In Sheila’s Approach Massage, there are two skills- kissing and massaging. In the massage sequence, there are moves to shut the mind down, then wake the body up then alternate between relaxing and teasing the body. The whole massage lasts anywhere from 45 minutes to more than an hour, so generally my students will just focus on the teasing parts since it’s hard to find time for proper intimacy. My partner knew most of the techniques and how things flow, so he used the teasing parts on me to get my vaginal wall lubricated. You see, I believe our body functions like a machine: if everything is in order, the only thing you have to do is to press the right button to get it to work. My techniques are failproof for child-bearing age women. They had been proven to work on hundreds of women through words from my students, but never on post-partum women or at least no that I knew of. Now it worked on me, as a mother of a young baby. I need more conclusive evidence to say that it works for most postpartum mothers. Also, after giving birth vaginally, I was more prone to injuries, tears, soreness and infections and I never felt that I was actually normal till a year later when my baby turned 1. I also suffered from a low degree of post-partum depression and soreness from breast engorgement as well as tremedous pain resulting from blocked milk ducts. Every step of the way, Sheila’s Approach massage got my body ready for touches and pleasure and locked away my pain. I had never expected that my own brain child one day could help me overcome physical and mental pain to become sexually active and have a fulfilling sex life again. So if your wife and girl friend just went into labor a few months ago, being understanding and sympathetic to her, give her time to heal and actively help her transition into a normal sex life with Sheila’s Approach Massage.
